You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
