Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
