just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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