so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
