Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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