Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
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Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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