Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
