Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
