Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1

Fav 17 7032 1994
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(406): View more from Montana

I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"

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(+10): View more from

I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays

Fav 3 1012 1941
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car

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(317): View more from Indiana

Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.

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(561): View more from Florida

Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.

(1-561): View more from Florida

How high are you?

Fav 19 1242 1925
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(+61): View more from Australia

Remember the time you cried about coconuts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.

Fav 0 13 38
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