so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
