a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
