Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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