I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
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I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
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So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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