I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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