i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
