bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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