Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
