Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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