How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
