No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
