When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
did i walk over a car last night?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
