I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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