Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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