just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
