.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
