I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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