After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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