At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
