Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
