Who wears a wallet chain?!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize