somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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