I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
