i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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