Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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