Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
