I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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