3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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