Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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