Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
