if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my being single is dangerous.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
