I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
