Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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