What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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