would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
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peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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