My nipple is on Facebook.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
