Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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