Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
