ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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