There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
