i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
