1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
