3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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