their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
