how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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