were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
