all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
