OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
