Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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