4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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